


Courage, Dear Heart.

by madamelibrarian, Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Series: Loving Heart [32]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angelcest, Angels, Bonding, Bottom Castiel, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mating Bond, Sentimental Dean, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 21:39:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10228022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamelibrarian/pseuds/madamelibrarian, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: Dean paced outside of his brother’s room nervously tapping his thigh. He wanted to talk to all three of them but Sam and Castiel had gone out on a much needed supply run leaving him alone with the two Archangels. The subject on his mind wasn’t a light one and he needed to talk to someone about it and it couldn’t be Cas.





	

Dean paced outside of his brother’s room nervously tapping his thigh. He wanted to talk to all three of them but Sam and Castiel had gone out on a much needed supply run leaving him alone with the two Archangels. The subject on his mind wasn’t a light one and he needed to talk to someone about it and it couldn’t be Cas. Not for this. He raised his hand to knock but quickly dropped it to his side in doubt. What if Gabriel and Lucifer laughed at him. Or worse, smote him for suggesting it. No, he was just going to suck it up and go back to his room and worry in peace. That’s how he did things when he couldn’t shoot it or kick some ass. He turned to go back to his room but found himself pacing once more. 

Lucifer poked his head out of his room to see Dean pacing, “Dean? Something you need?” he asked. 

Dean looked up like a deer caught in headlights, “Um… yes… no…,” he swallowed hard to stop himself from rambling and decided to deflect the question, knowing that Lucifer was the worst out of the three of them for being too insightful for his own good, “Burgers for dinner?”

“Sounds good, but I don’t think that’s why you’re attempting to pace yourself a hole into the floor,” Lucifer mentioned, leaning up against the doorframe. 

Sighing, Dean scrubbed his hand over his face, “I need to talk to you three if Sam were here. But yeah… I need to talk to you guys.”

“Come in, then,” Lucifer beckoned, stepping back to allow Dean entry. 

Dean slipped into the room and stood nervously at the foot of the nest, nodding to Gabriel in greeting as the Archangel bent over a notebook scribbling furiously, “What’s shakin’, Kiddo?” Gabriel asked without looking up. 

Lucifer sat down in the nest, leaning up against the headboard with a pillow behind him, his wings out and hanging. 

Dean cleared his throat, pulling the desk chair to where he was standing and straddling it so he could lean on the back of it, “Okay, so here’s the thing. I want you to tell me how to mate with an angel.”

Gabriel’s pen slowed until it stopped mid word as he raised his head to stare at the hunter, “Excuse me? I think I went momentarily deaf. Did you say mate an angel?”

“I believe he did,” Lucifer said with a chuckle, “Does Castiel know that you want to bond?”

“I haven’t asked him yet,” Dean said as he dug around in his pants pocket and pulled out a silver ring engraved with Enochian, “I was going to give him this but I wasn’t sure if they got the symbols right. I don’t want to hurt him or turn him into a frog. Plus I wanted to know what it entailed.”

Lucifer gently took the ring from Dean and read the Enochian around it, giving a small smile, “My love for you is never-ending, just like our story,” he read, “That’s beautiful.” 

Dean blushed as he shrugged, “I couldn’t see engraving some of the trite stuff they had listed so it was the first thing that came to mind.”

Gabriel set his book aside and took the ring from Lucifer with a small smile, “Never knew you had a poet’s heart. Cas is going to love this.”

“If I give it to him,” Dean grumbled, unsure of the whole plan he’d been putting together. 

“You will. Now, why do you want to know what mating entails?” Lucifer asked.

“I read some books and I wanted to get a… first person perspective. Not something that some blow hard back in the day dreamed up and wrote down,” Dean looked at each of the angel’s with a pleading expression, “Like I know he can mark me but can I do the same? What happens if I die? What if he dies? Will it hurt?” Dean realized he was rambling again and clamped his mouth shut. 

“Please tell me you didn’t read ‘Compendium of Angelic Rites and Rituals’,” Gabriel asked. 

“He did,” Lucifer grumbled, having seen the book open on Dean’s nightstand one night, “Okay, everything you read in that disgusting piece of angelic literature? Consider it false.”  

“I figured that when it talked about barbed penis’,” Dean rested his chin on his folded hands, “That’s why I’m coming to you.”

Lucifer ran a hand through his hair, “Yes, you can mark him, but only after he’s marked you- marking is done with Grace, and when a human-angel mating happens, the angel needs to mark the human first. It’ll juice you up to where you have the mojo to do your own marking. I haven’t heard of any accounts of death during mating, and it doesn’t really hurt- it’s usually done in the midst of orgasm, so it heightens the senses a bit,” He looked over at Gabriel, absently trailing a finger along Sam’s mark on his throat, “Did I miss anything?”

“Only that best laid plans on where you’re placing the mark go right out the window when you’re in the heat of the moment,” Gabriel said with a smirk. 

“Sam’s did on me. I placed my mark on you  _ exactly  _ where I wanted it,” Lucifer grinned, “And you can’t deny that it doesn’t feel good.”

“That it does,” Gabriel said as he nuzzled against Lucifer’s cheek. 

“Okay, you two. Don’t make me get a hose,” Dean griped from his chair as he pointed at each of them, “So it has to be during… sex? Like full on tab A into slot B, sex.”

“Well, I marked Sam when I was blowing him,” Lucifer mentioned, wrapping an arm around Gabriel, “But yes, some form of penile penetration has to occur.”

“Okay,” Dean avoided looking at either of the angels. 

“Which shouldn’t be a problem for the two of you,” Gabriel said as he leaned into Lucifer’s embrace, “You guys go at it more than we do, if what I’ve heard echoing down the halls is any indication.”

“Sure. All the time,” Dean deflected poorly as he reached out to take the ring back from Gabriel. 

Lucifer’s eyes narrowed shrewdly at the poor deflection and he raised a brow, “Dean Winchester. Are you telling me that you and my baby brother haven’t had full on penetrative sex yet?”

“What?!” Dean asked with that scared rabbit expression he gets around the angels when they’re about to call him out on something. It’s a habit that he has that is annoying and he wishes he could get rid of. Sam, he has no trouble keeping a poker face but these two and Cas, he couldn’t do it. He deflated when he realized from the expressions on both their faces that they weren’t going to allow him to worm his way out of this with some half assed excuse. “No,” he replied simply as he looked down at the floor. 

Gabriel slowly turned to look at Lucifer with wide, amused eyes, “Stop me, Luci’. I feel it bubbling up,” he asked his brother because he knew he was two words away from saying something that would either get him in trouble or piss the hunter off. 

“Gabriel, no,” Lucifer slid his hand over Gabriel’s mouth and looked at Dean, “Is there a reason why not?” he asked gently. 

“Because. I’m… I’m not a bottom. Never have been and I can’t… I can’t do that to an Angel,” Dean plucked at a fraying thread in the knee of his jeans, “I mean I’ve been to hell and nearly became a demon. Took the Mark and actually became a demon. Seems like I’d be… tainting him somehow.”

Lucifer nodded in understanding, “You won’t be,” he said in reassurance, reaching over and gently laying his hand on top of Dean’s, “It was months into our relationship before Sam felt comfortable enough bottoming, and there was a period that I didn’t top at all,” he confessed, “Do what feels right for you and Cas.”

“But what about the bonding? What if I’m not ready to… It needs that, right?” Dean looked up at Lucifer and sighed, “Maybe I’m too damned broken to do this. I love Cas, but he deserves better.”

“You listen to me right now, Dean Winchester. You are  _ exactly  _ what Castiel needs. Trust me, I raised Castiel alongside Gabriel, and he needs someone like you. You deserve him, just as much as he deserves you,” Lucifer’s voice was firm, but caring and understanding, “You can wait, until you feel ready. What  _ have  _ you done?”

Gabriel pulled Lucifer’s hand from his mouth and looked incredulously at him, “You want a blow by blow?”

Dean shook his head with a hint of a smirk, “I’m not giving either of you a blow.”

Lucifer laughed, “Just… in general, what have you two done?” he inquired. 

Dean shrugged and started listing off a variety of activities that were anything but penetration. When he finished he looked at the angels. Gabriel’s mouth was hanging slightly open in amazement, “Can you actually do that? It’s gotta be hell on the back.”

“Cas is nimble,” Dean stated plainly. 

“Apparently. I might need to invest in doing some yoga,” Lucifer murmured. He began thinking to himself about what could work for a bonding. 

Dean chuckled, “It couldn’t hurt.” 

“So when are you going to pop the question?” Gabriel asked as he nudged Lucifer to rouse him from his inner thoughts. 

“Soon, but I want to tell Sammy and get your blessing,” Dean’s expression was hopeful as his eyes flicked between them, “Unless I’m getting smited first.”

“Nope, no smiting. I’m really happy for you two,” Lucifer said with a smile, “You have my blessing.”

“Mine too. But I will say that you hurt our baby bro and I will do things that will make the Mystery Spot look like a Southern Cotillion,” Gabriel said with a finger jabbed in Dean’s direction, then his expression melted from serious to his usual smirk, “So how are you going to do it?”

“I’ve got some ideas but nothing concrete,” Dean admitted. 

“Well, let us hear them,” Lucifer said. 

“One of them was a picnic. Just take Cas for a drive and find a nice spot, have a few beers and pop the question,” Dean nodded as if he liked that idea the best, “Maybe something fancier but I’m not keen on dressing in that monkey suit of mine.”

“The two of you would be most comfortable in jeans and tee shirts,” Lucifer said simply, “I like the picnic idea,” He gave a look to Gabriel, “We never got to do our  _ actual  _ proposal, no SAM just proposed out of the fucking blue in bed one day.”

“Post coital if I remember right,” Gabriel chuckled, “Dean Winchester has more of a romantic side than Sam. Who would have thought?”

“Please, we both know out of the three of us,  _ I’m  _ the hopeless romantic,” Lucifer chuckled, He smiled warmly at Dean, “Anything else, Dean?” 

“Just one last question and you can tell me to buzz off, but are wings really that sensitive or is it a Cas thing?” Dean’s head tilted to the side in curiosity. 

“Oh no, Deano. They really are that sensitive,” Gabriel said as he reached up and stroked Lucifer’s back at the base of his wing, “Isn’t that right, Heylel?”

Lucifer shivered violently and twisted to bat at Gabriel’s hand, “No, no,  _ no, don’t do that, _ ” he hissed at his brother, “They really are that sensitive, Dean. And the more sensitive they are, the better flyer. I bet if you stroke them just right, you could get him to cum just from that alone.” 

Dean nodded and tapped the side of his head, “Noted,” He stood and returned the chair to it’s place, “Thanks guys. I appreciate this. That book had me a little weirded out.”

“Do me a favor, Dean?  _ Burn it _ ,” Lucifer said, “And it was of no problem, Dean. I’m really happy for you both.” 

Dean patted Lucifer on the shoulder, “Thanks, Luci. Gabe. I’ll let you know how it turns out,” The hunter left the room with a lighter heart and if you looked closely a slight bounce in his step. 

Lucifer smiled and hugged Gabriel close, “Our babies are growing up,” he fake sniffled. 

Dean for the most part, kept his attention on the road, sneaking glances on occasion at Castiel in the passenger seat. The hunters fingers drumming out a beat that is counter to that of the radio playing softly in the background. 

Castiel relaxed and busied himself with watching Dean, a certain kind of excitement humming within him. Dean was taking him out on a picnic so that Sam, Lucifer, and Gabriel could get some time alone, although he was still unsure what his older brother was doing when he notice Lucifer whisper something into Dean’s ear, only to have his boyfriend smack his shoulder and Lucifer give his innocent  _ what? It’s true  _ look towards the hunter. No matter, he was content with watching his boyfriend and wondering what the night will bring. 

Reaching the open air botanical garden, Dean pulled into the parking lot and cut the engine, “This is it.” 

“Dean, this is beautiful,” Castiel said warmly, looking out the windshield at the garden. 

“I looked it up online. They have this section they built that has bee and butterfly friendly plants. Something about providing a safe habitat away from pesticides,” Dean explained as he got out of the Impala and opened the back door to unload the cooler and blanket. 

Castiel beamed as he got out of the Impala as well, “I am glad to hear that,” He said, “Can I carry anything?”

“Here. You’re in charge of the blanket,” Dean said as he passed it over, then he pointed along a shaded path, “We’re taking that path. The map online says that leads to the butterfly garden.”

Castiel nodded, “Lead the way, then,” He said, tucking the blanket under his arm and taking Dean’s hand. 

They walked along the path at a leisurely pace, stopping to admire a particular plant or fountain placed in the garden. Dean would smile when Cas would start reciting facts about nature and give his hand a gentle squeeze, “Maybe we should go camping sometime,” Dean finally offers as they come to the entrance of their destination, “You, me and roughing it in nature.”

“That would be nice, Dean,” Castiel smiled, leaning his head on Dean’s shoulder, “It’s beautiful here.”

Dean looked around, taking in the sights of butterflies floating around on the breeze and resting on the flowering bushes, “It is. I sometimes forget that the world has stuff like this. Fighting all the time in the grime and gore, it makes you forget.”

Castiel stepped into the garden, smiling happily, “That’s why it’s good to find these places, so you can remind yourself.”

“I thought that’s why I had you?” Dean grinned cheekily as he followed Castiel and set the cooler down in the grass. 

Castiel chuckled as he unfolded the blanket and spread it out on the ground, “Cute, Dean.”

“I’m adorable and you know it,” Dean sat in the middle of the blanket and started to unpack the cooler. Spreading out a collection of sandwiches, grapes and beer. 

“I’ll have to occasionally agree to that sentiment,” Castiel smiled as he sat down next to Dean. 

“Only occasionally?” Dean smiled as he handed over one of the sandwiches. 

“Well, can’t let your ego get in the way, now can we?” Castiel teased, accepting the sandwich and kissing Dean’s cheek. 

Dean leaned into the kiss with a short laugh, “No, we can’t,” Dean unwrapped his sandwich while he watched Castiel deftly unwrap the waxed paper from his. His mind wandering to things unrelated to food as he focused on the angel’s long fingers move. 

Castiel nimbly unwrapped his sandwich and bit into it, smiling. 

They ate quietly, leaning against one another from time to time, enjoying each other’s company as the afternoon sun shone down on them. Dean finished his sandwich first and washed it down with the remaining few swallows of his beer. 

Castiel finished his sandwich and began snacking on the grapes, leaning against Dean happily. 

Dean rubbed his palm against his thigh, feeling the circle of silver in his pocket, “Cas, what do you think of humans and angels bonding?” he asked, deciding to get a feel for the angel’s stance on the subject before putting his question to the test. 

“I see nothing wrong with it,” Castiel hummed, “It’s made my brothers very happy, being able to bond with Sam. I know of other angels who chose to bond with human mates and they’re also very happy.”

“That’s good,” He nodded to himself, still unsure but slipping his fingers into his pocket to draw out the ring and hide it in his palm, “So… if someone asked to bond with you, would you do it?”

“Depends on who that someone is,” he murmured, looking up at Dean, “Why do you ask?”

Taking a deep breath, he turned so that he was kneeling in front of Castiel, “You know I’m not that great with opening up and speaking about my feelings. And you know my past as well as anyone, but what you might not know is that these past couple of years have given me time to think about things. What I realized is that I don’t want to be without you. You’ve done something that no one has been able to do,” Dean lifted his hand and revealed the ring sitting in his palm, “Castiel, will you be my angel and bond with me?”

Castiel gasped as he stared at the ring,  “Dean,” he whispered, his entire being thrumming in happiness, “Yes.”

Dean let out a stuttered breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and picked up the ring to put on Castiel’s finger, “It’s inscribed,” He said as he slipped the ring past the angel’s knuckle. 

“What does it say?” Castiel asked softly, watching the ring slide on. 

“Well it’s in Enochian and says ‘My love for you is never-ending, just like our story’. Luci checked the spelling to make sure it was right,” Dean kissed the ring and then looked up into the angel’s blue eyes, “I hope you like it.”

“Dean, I love it,” Castiel assured the hunter, smiling warmly before leaning in for a kiss, “Just like I love you.”

Dean returned the kiss and pressed his forehead to Castiel’s, “I… I love you too, Cas,” he whispered in the space between them, “I know I don’t ever say it like that, but I do. Maybe from the moment you blew those barn doors in.”

“Dean,” Castiel whispered tenderly, lifting his hand to cup Dean’s jaw. 

Dean lifted his head to peer into his angel’s eyes, “Yeah?”

“I love you so much, and I know you do. You don’t need to say it like that if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Thanks, Cas. But I’ll promise to work on it, among other things,” Dean said as he turned to kiss Cas’ palm. 

Castiel smiled sweetly and looked at Dean adoringly. 

Dean kissed Castiel slow and sweet, letting his fingers trail over the short curls of hair at the base of his neck. 

Castiel sighed into the kiss, keeping his hand on Dean’s jaw as he closed his eyes blissfully. 

They stayed like that for several long minutes before Dean pulled back with a parting peck to Castiel’s lips, “When do you want to do the ritual?” he asked as he stroked the angel’s cheek with his thumb. 

“Whenever you’re ready, Dean,” Castiel murmured, smiling softly, “I can wait for however long it takes.”

“Okay,” Dean thought back to what the Archangel’s had said and blushed slightly, “We won’t wait too long though.”

“What’s making you blush?” Castiel asked. 

Dean shook his head and pulled another beer from the cooler, “Just something Luci and Gabe told me.”

“Any good advice?” Castiel hummed. 

“Plenty. Including to burn the book I’d been reading,” Dean took a swig of his beer, “That and explaining what bonding entails.” 

“Oh dear. Did they give you too many details on how theirs happened?” Castiel snorted. 

“No, actually. Just the highlights. Including that it’s best if we…” Dean glanced at Castiel as he scratched at the label on his bottle, “Had sex.”

“Ah. I see,” Castiel took a sip of his beer, “Does the idea of sex with me make you uncomfortable?” 

“I’m going to sound like a dick either way I answer that,” Dean sighed and sat his beer to the side. “It’s not because of you. It’s that I haven’t ever bottomed for anyone, ever and I…” He refused to look at Castiel as he admitted the rest, “You’re an angel Cas and I was for all intents and purposes a demon. Twice. And you shouldn’t be tainted like that. At least by me.”

Castiel growled, “Dean. Look at me,” he said in that low, rough voice of his. 

Dean reluctantly lifted his eyes to meet Castiel’s, his heart pounding in his throat from a combination of nerves and his soon to be mate’s commanding tone. 

“Listen to me  _ very closely.  _ You aren’t going to taint me. At all. I would very much like it if you  _ did  _ do that to me. Why do you think I keep whispering it in your ear, hmm? The host doesn’t call you the Righteous Man for nothing. You are good, you are pure, and I love you.” 

“But… ” Dean responded in protest, not believing that Castiel could be meaning what he was saying. 

“But  _ nothing,  _ Dean. You’re perfect, just the way you are.”

“I’m hardly perfect, Cas. But thank you for saying so,” Dean gave him a wane smile, “And for the record, I’ve wanted to do every dirty thing you’ve whispered in my ear, I just couldn’t get past this doubt of mine.”

Cas kissed his forehead, “Well, rest assured, I want you like that. I, dare I say, need you like that. Whenever you’re ready, though. I’m not going to push it.”

“Well, maybe we could try tonight,” Dean murmured as he wound his fingers around Castiel’s, stroking his thumb over his palm. 

“Are you ready for that?” Castiel murmured, trailing his lips down the bridge of Dean’s nose. 

Dean took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “I don’t think it’s a matter of being ready. I want to.”

“Why don’t you think it’s a matter of being ready?” Castiel asked softly. 

“It’s a bit like riding a roller coaster. You know you’ll be scared but it’ll be fun and you still want to ride it,” Dean tried to explain. 

“I don’t understand,” Cas said. 

“Face your fears, Cas. That’s what I mean,” Dean rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Then I’ll help you, in whatever way I can.”

Dean looked up and smiled, “Thanks. For everything.”

“Of course, Dean,” Castiel smiled. 

**Author's Note:**

> Drop us a note and let us know what you think. Comments feed the plot bunnies and sweeten our biscuits.
> 
> You can also find us on tumblr at lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell.tumblr.com & madamelibrarian.tumblr.com


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